A Day for Baseball Diablo Style
by Baal Almighty
Summary: The stupid events that would happen if the cast of Diablo 2 had a baseball game.
1. The Before Game Comentaries

Disclaimer: I may be evil but I still dont own anything related to Diablo or Blizzard so don't sue me for god sakes!!!!  
  
*********************************************************************** *=Action ( )=Thought [ ]= Author Note *********************************************************************** On a bright day, like any other the people from the Diablo games are getting ready to play a friendly game of baseball... Wait with Baal, Diablo, Mephisto, etc playing this is gonna be pure hell!!! HIDE ME!!!*Hides under his desk*  
  
"Now back to the plot... What we don't have a plot?!?!?! What do you mean we don't have a plot!!!! A screw it let's go down to Mark Fieldburg for the player comantary."  
  
"Thanks Kevin! Now I am here with Baal the almighty Lord of Destruction. Hey Baal hows it going?"  
  
*Raises eyebrow* [Does Baal even have eyebrows?] "What do you want mortal... Well?"  
  
"I'm here to interview you before the game Baal."  
  
*Laughs Histarically* "Really what do you want and make it quick before I send my Minions of Destruction after you."  
  
"I'm really here to interview you I swear to God"  
  
*Raises eyebrow yet again* "Sic'em!!!!!"  
  
A group of Minions of Destrucion come out of no where and start mauling Mark.  
  
"Well there you have it me getting mauled by a batch of demons fun eh? Well back to Kevin Zinger in the studios... hey thats my leg!!!!"  
  
"Alirght thanks Mark for that indepth conversation with the Lord of Destruction himself. Well maybe Mark will have better luck with the Archangel, Tyrael. At least all he has is a sword from the heavens and not a bunch of demons... I shouldn't have said that."  
  
[Back at the ballpark]  
  
"Hey there Tyrael, It's Mark Fieldburg from Stupid Studios [Not a real thing I hope] and I'm here to interview you before the big game and I was wondering your thoughts about it."  
  
"Well mortal I think that the forces of good will prevail over those of evil."  
  
"Well of course you'd say that your a bimbo good guy, GO TEAM TERROR!!!! I shouldn't have said that..."  
  
"That's one thing not to like my team but to be a fan of Team Terror and not even be a demon is against my morals"  
  
"Oops I think I offended him..."  
  
From a the headset radio Mark is wearing, "Mark now is the time I suggest that you run faster then well then you can.... is that good enough.... Wait I can do better!!! Mark run your fat ass off before your sliced in two by that flaming sword Tyrael has!!!! That's better"  
  
"Alright then this is Mark Fieldburg running for dear life and now back to the studios!!! OH Crap look at the pretty sword!!! OUCH thats my head!!!!!"  
  
"Ahh crap where'd those damn head phones go I need to escape the madness... Oh Shit I shouldn't have said that..." *Looks up at the camera and laughs sheepishly* "Oops hehehe.....uhhh. Well now wasn't that interview wonderful... Well now for the final interview and its with Team Terrors head chear leader.... You gotta be kinding me... Andriel!!!" *Laughs manically* "Ok ok back to reality and also back to Mark on the Field"  
  
"Thanks yet again Kevin. I am here now with the queen of the demon world Andriel and also the head chear leader of Team Terror I must add. So Andriel are you psyched about the game?"  
  
"Well this will be one of the biggest games of all time and.... are you staring at my breasts?!?!?!"  
  
"Of course not..." *Starts drooling* "I shouldn't have done that!!!"  
  
"Maggot explain yourself!!!!!!"  
  
"Um they just stick out... It's very hard not to notice them... man I'm digging myself a deeper hole!!!!"  
  
"DIE MAGGOT!!!!"  
  
*Mark starts running away from Andriel's demonic rage but not before he gets hit with one of those poison things*  
  
"Man who cut the cheese!!! DAMNIT I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut!!!! Back to the studio!"  
  
"Well there you have it the thoughts from both team captians and a chear leader. See ya'll at the game.. Why the hell did I just talk with a Texan accent... I gotta lay off on that damn King of the Hill show geez louez... I didn't just say that... Damnit turn off the camera smart one!!! NOW!!!" *Punches camera man in the face a turns off the camera*  
  
***********************************************************************There you have it my first chaptor of my first fan fic please R&R no flames or I'll hunt you down like on Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and no I don't own that either... 


	2. The Game Part 1

Disclaimer: I may be evil but I still dont own anything related to Diablo or Blizzard so don't sue me for god sakes!!!!  
  
*********************************************************************** *=Action ( )=Thought [ ]= Author Note ***********************************************************************  
  
"Hello and welcome to Blizzard sports.. What we're not allowed to use that name well screw this... I'm going to my trailer!!!!" *Stomps away in a fit of rage*  
  
"Yo Kevin if you leave you won't get your pay check."  
  
*All that is seen is a blast of smoke and the reappearence of the disgruntled announcer*  
  
"Well Mark did you have fun with the interview?"  
  
"Well besides the fact that I got mauled severly by demons and Angels alike it wasn't that bad... Comon you all know im being sarcastic! Right?"  
  
"Yes of course we do but that's not the point and soon we'll be moving into a different room to check out the game!"  
  
"Hell no not after what I just went through!!!"  
  
"Well that doesn't matter do you want your pay check or not?"  
  
"Damnit!!!"  
  
[Down in the stadium announcer booth]  
  
"Hey everyone this is Kevin Zinger reporting for the whatever station we're doing this for and this is my assistant Mark Fieldburg!"  
  
"Hey Kevin excited to be here! And we are about to start the first inning!!!!"  
  
*Both teams come out of the locker rooms and take their places*  
  
"Starting batter for Team Terror will be everyone's favorite Zombie, Corpse Fire!! Tyrael pitches and Corpse Fire hits it!!!! The Ball its going going going!!!! GONE!!!!" *Stands up and starts jumping up and down in excitment*  
  
"Well Mark you look happy. It was a amzing play made by Corpse Fire! I never thought a zombie could hit a ball that far for being a big pile of rotting flesh."  
  
*Corpse Fire starts running the bases if you wanna call it that. Try about he was moving the speed of a slug*  
  
[Four Days Later]  
  
"And finnally Corpse Fire is about to make it to the home plate but wait... He stopped he's starting to shake... This isn't a good thing now is it!!!???"  
  
"Well Kevin I think poor old Corpse Fire just had a heart attack and needs medical assistance. Wait!!! Never mind he's dead... Does that count as a run for Team Terror?"  
  
"Well Mark we'll have to ask the officals about that one."  
  
"And the verdict is... No good the player was pronounced clinically dead before toughing the plate. Damn eh? And in other words I guess it counts as a out!!!! What do you think about that Kevin?"  
  
"I like both teams and the sooner this is done the sooner I get paid!!!" *Laughs manically*  
  
*Raises eyebrow* "Right.... Well anyway next up to bat is the dreaded Cow King!!! He takes his place on the mound, Tyrael Pitches the ball and... STRIKE ONE!!!!"  
  
"Decaird that is not a strike thats a ball!!!!"  
  
"Baal don't question my verdict!!!!"  
  
"Whatever old man."  
  
"Tyrael pitches and the Cow King swings again this time he hit it too bad it only went right back to Tyrael. Wait the Cow King is still running!!!!"  
  
*Decaird Cain then waves his finger at the Cow King and turns the cow into a medium rare steak.*  
  
"I bet you didn't think I could do that did you? Well that counts as two outs!!!"  
  
"Well Cain sure showed that dumb cow whos boss. Eh Kevin?"  
  
"Yep and as for me I'm gonna go get me some of that steak. Medium rare the way I like it or wait no it's not. Nevermind..."  
  
*Raises eyebrow and stares at Kevin* "Right.... back to the game! The last batter for Team Terror for this inning will be... Holy Shit the team captian is batting!!! BAAL!!!"  
  
"Your point?" *Kevin shrugs*  
  
"Well if he hits that ball the right way it's gonna break through the glass and nail me in the head clearing it right off!!!"  
  
*Starts chuckling* "That would be funny!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." *Clears throat* "Well you're just gonna have to watch out won't you Mark?"  
  
"I guess..."  
  
"Well Baal is stepping up to the plate.. Tyrael is getting ready to pitch!!! He throws the ball and... and.. and.. BAAL KNOCKS IT CLEAR OUTTA THE PARK!!!!!!!! What a play by Baal!!! Don't you think Mark? Mark you there?" *Looks over to see marks head on the ground* "Wow for once Mark was right about something he did get his head cleared right off! Thats halarious!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"That's what you think at least you don't have a excurtiating headache!!! Damn that hurts!!!"  
  
*The demon up to bat after was Duriel too bad when he was running to first base a Barbarian nailed him smack dab in between the eyes with the ball. That had to hurt. So that counts as three outs next team!!!*  
  
"Well now its time for Earth's Guardians to step up to the mound! The first person up to bat will be the ever so popular Barbarian!!!"  
  
*Barbarian points at Kevin* "I do have a name you know young fellow. My name is Edward Jortis. I am bi-lingual if you don't understand what I'm saying."  
  
*Stunned look on face* "Wow never thought I would ever find a smart Barbarian... that's odd and creepy. Someone was playing God when they made that Barbarian."  
  
"Totally agree Kevin. The pitcher for Team Terror will be none other then Diablo himself!!! Here's the pitch and..." *Amazed look* "Wow a home run it's going going and..." *The ball lands right on the edge of the ball park.* "Sorry Edward no home run for you but I would still run if I were you!"  
  
*Duriel is the closet one to the ball and he runs [If you call that running] toward the ball. Swiftly he picks it up and tosses it to the closest person... I mean demon... which is Izual. Before the Barbarian sorry I mean Edward reaches third base Izual launches a frost nova to stop him right in his steps. Izual walks up to Edward and tags him out. [Should that be declared cheating?]*  
  
"What a extrodinary play made by both teams I guess... What do you think about it Kevin?"  
  
"Ummm...." *Puts on his headphones [Yes he did find them] and starts listening to music*  
  
"Kevin yo Kevin!!! Well he's off in another world... Well I guess we'll be getting back to the game when Kevin comes to. Cya'll later!!!"  
  
*The camera fads to black and all you hear is Kevin wake up YO WAKE THE F...* 


End file.
